State of the Nation - Children's Version

I got this in an e-mail the other day from a friend and got a good laugh out of it that I thought I'd let everyone get a chance to read it.

The Little Red Hen
> >
> > (The New American Way)
> >
> > "Who will help me sow my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
> >
> > "Not I," said the cow.
> >
> > "Not I," said the duck.
> >
> > "Not I," said the pig.
> >
> > "Not I," said the goose.
> >
> > "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. She
> > planted her crop, and the wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden
> > grain.
> >
> > "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
> >
> > "Not I," said the duck..
> >
> > "Out of my classification," said the pig.
> >
> > "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
> >
> > "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
> >
> > "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.
> >
> >
> > At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?"
> > asked the little red hen.
> >
> > "That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
> >
> > "I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
> >
> > "I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
> >
> > "If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
> >
> > "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.
> >
> >
> > She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.
> > They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.. But the little red hen
> > said
> > "No, I shall eat all five loaves" and she did.
> >
> > "Excess profits!" cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)
> >
> > "Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)
> >
> > "I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)
> >
> > The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)
> >
> > And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around
> > the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
> >
> > Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, "You must not
> > be so greedy."
> >
> > "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
> >
> > "Exactly," said Barack the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise
> > system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants.
> > But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must
> > divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle."
> >
> > And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who
> > smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."
> >
> > But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked
> > bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free.
> > 'Fairness' had been established.
> >
> > Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one
> > cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.
> >
> > EPILOGUE
> > Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
> > Hillary got $8 million for hers.
> >
> > That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years
> > repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.
> >
> >
> > IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?